By Al-Mamun Mallam

Our guest on this column today, Al-Mamun Mallam, a friend, a writer, and public affairs analyst is generally a jolly good fellow. His article, “2019 polls: Insecurity and the manifestoes of APC and PDP”, reminds me of Jeffrey Archer’s collection of short stories, A Twist in the Tale, because of the way it ended; with a twist like Archer’s short stories. But I was not surprised, writers would always be writers whether they are writing short stories  or about a serious matter like the insecurity that engulf’s our land. Have a pleasant read.

Buhari-atiku-budget
The massive security infrastructure that both APC and PDP are planning to put on ground come 2019 to address the acute deficiency in security infrastructure will put Nigeria in real trouble. How? Just hold on and you will get a grasp of how! The policy documents of the two major political parties, as enunciated in their manifestos, The Next Level of the APC and The Atiku Plan of the PDP, have given too much attention to security – so much time and so much detail are devoted to security issues in these documents that one begins to wonder if there will be funds and time left for other sectors equally competing for attention. As an example, the two leading presidential candidates are so much aware of the place of CCTV camera in the provision of security nowadays that each of the candidates has promised to install MILLIONS of both solar and electric powered CCTV cameras that are going to cover all the states capitals plus the headquarters of the three senatorial districts in each state of the federation. They understand that with CCTV cameras in all strategic locations in Nigeria, the possibility of a terrorist cell or of a kidnapping or armed robbery gang causing mayhem again and again and again without identifying the perpetrators will be reduced to minimum. The foremost presidential candidates, both being young at heart, are very much in touch with the dynamics of modern policing. With their plans, criminalities like the ones going on in Zamfara, Plateau, Benue, Niger and other places will no longer strut our landscape undetected.

But that’s not all. Each of the policy documents also made provision for thirty to fifty state-of-the-art police helicopters in each state of the federation. Then each police helicopter, according to both the APC’s Next level and PDP’s Atiku Plan, [Ehn, don’t mind that Atiku has made the document a personal thing, calling it his personal plan. No, don’t get me wrong! I am not suggesting that you should take a cue from that possessive inclination and conclude that he intends to sell everything to himself to create wealth for the country like he did previously. It won’t happen this time around; don’t leopards shed their spots again? Haba!] Ehen, where was I? Okay, each helicopter will record every activity within a radius of two miles and transmit that to the control centers that will relay the information to the patrol teams that will be on ground 24/7. Now these patrol teams will be using state-of-the-art computers inside their state-of-the-art vehicles to analyze data in a millisecond. Aa’aa! Are you surprised? Didn’t you read in these documents that a functional database of all vehicles will be created since you have to move to commit a crime and that with a tap on a lap or palmtop, the detail of a vehicle’s movement will be relayed via a system of interconnected CCTV cameras onto the screen of a lap or palmtop adorning the police vehicles that will soon be in use? Which of the APC’s The Next Level or PDP’s Atiku’s Plan did you read then?

But that is not all. The two major parties have decided to use an eclectic approach to confront the menace of insecurity, and so a friend of mine who is a famous sport scientist has been consulted by the two political parties to come up with the possibility of using sport as an instrument of checking criminality. Now my friend has come up with the idea that each neighbourhood in state capitals and headquarters of the senatorial districts must be supplied with a well-equipped sport arena, state-of-the-art, of course. In addition, he has recommended that all public primary and secondary schools must have functional football and handball fields as well as volleyball, lawn tennis and badminton courts. He confided in me that the two major political parties did not initially see the nexus between engagement of youths in sporting activities and reduction in criminality, but after much persuasion they accepted that indeed a nexus exists. That’s why you saw sport appearing in both security and youth development sectors of the two parties’ manifestos. As part of his idea, it will be compulsory for students to attend sporting activities on Thursdays and Fridays in their respective schools, and each LGA must organize an intra LGA sport competition for the entire primary and secondary schools in the LGA each school term or, at least, once a year.

Now that you know how our acute security infrastructural deficiency will be addressed you can begin to sleep with your two eyes closed after the 2023, yes, after the 2023 elections because the manifestos of APC and PDP for the 2019 elections actually says next to nothing regarding tackling our insecurity, so enjoy your sweet dreams!

Al-Mamun Mallam writes in from Minna, and can be reached on almamunmahb@gmail.com

TAURARUWA